Rich, Fit and Happy Show

53 | Navigating Midlife Finances: Embracing Confidence, Clarity, and Control

• Crystal O'Connor • Season 2 • Episode 53

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I'm joined by Patti Handy, a former Financial Advisor and Mortgage Advisor, I had countless conversations with women, specifically divorced, widowed, and single women, who felt overwhelmed, embarrassed, and frustrated when it came to their finances, investing, and money. I'm a Certified Life Coach, Certified Executive Coach, and published author of four books. With that said, soaring solo in life as a divorced, single mom, has taught me the most!

Find more about Patti at:

Sign up with Ageless Ambition by visiting https://www.AgelessAmbition.com

You can also schedule a call with me or one of my team members at https://www.calendly.com/wealthy-wellness

Health and Wellness practitioners: you can learn more at http://www.WealthyWellnessAcademy.com

Crystal:

Hello, hello. Welcome to the Rich Fit and Happy Show. I have a guest today, Patti Handy. But first I wanna just share a little bit about her. She is a former wealth advisor and mortgage advisor turned financial coach for women, and that's why I thought she'd be perfect for this because the name, Rich, Fit and Happy, right? So money isn't everything, people have told us most of our lives, but you know what? It really does add to your life in many ways. I mean, let's just be honest. Without a nice retirement plan or without a nice income-- and it's getting worse, by the way-- you really can't have the safety that you want. You really can't have the best of quality foods. There are a lot of things you can't do. And for women, I know one of the most important things for us is safety. I mean, it's been said so much and in so many ways. Safety is number one for us. So I talk about that and the mindset part. But here's the thing. We've gotta learn to-- and I've taught how to make money with Moxie Entrepreneur and with my other programs. My program, Rich, Fit and Happy, I teach how to make money. But managing it, when you make the money, is just as important. And that's why I called on Patti. Patti, welcome.

Patti:

Thank you Crystal. Great to be here. Appreciate it.

Crystal:

Yeah. You talk about there being three reasons why women don't make progress with their money and they don't manage it properly or take the steps. You say that it's complexity, overwhelm, and what's the third one?

Patti:

Clarity.

Crystal:

Clarity.

Patti:

Yeah. I think that there's a lot of fear around managing money. It's sort of this taboo subject, and typically, what I've seen in the past is in marriages, the husband took care of the funds. So when there's a divorce or the passing of a spouse, then the wife is now overwhelmed with this responsibility of managing the money. And it's scary and they never learned it. And so there's just this, you know...

Crystal:

And they become vulnerable and can be taken advantage of.

Patti:

Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I've seen that as well. They've been sold products that do not, you know, benefit them in, you know, any way. And that's why I'm all about education, making sure that they're, taught what they need to, you know, get really confident and comfortable with managing money, have the right questions if they do decide to move forward and hire an advisor, they have the right questions to ask. And when the advisor says something about a product or something and they don't understand it, they're just more intuitive and knowledgeable so they can then either run or they can move forward with that, you know, relationship.

Crystal:

Okay. And so, do you feel like that it's a certain age of women mostly? Or is it across the board? Obviously, a divorced woman is usually in her what, late thirties, forties, fifties and beyond. Are you seeing a change-- and by the way, you're not really even working in that realm of helping them with being a wealth advisor. Maybe we should differentiate that. Like can you explain what you used to do as opposed to what you're doing now?

Patti:

Sure. As a wealth advisor or financial advisor, I was managing money. So I would take the portfolio and, you know, we would invest it. Our investment advisor team would, you know-- we had models. We would invest the funds. We would look at tax strategies, tax planning. We would help them with their CPA, with their estate planning attorney. We took care of everything. We did a lot of the advising and the implementation of, you know, rebalance in a portfolio and some of those hands-on things that most clients just didn't wanna do or didn't know how to do. So we truly managed the funds. We had assets under management with us. As a coach, I don't manage assets. I don't have assets that I, you know, manage for any client. I'm more educational about the nuances of investing and managing money and credit, and understanding all those intricate little details that typically aren't addressed in an advisory role. The other big piece that I manage or teach really is the behavioral side of things. A lot of advisors don't get into the behavioral aspect of money and the money story and how that mindset plays a part in how we manage our money. So I'm very involved as you know, part of the coaching role is teaching the foundation, which is a lot of the money mindset and understanding that. Because you can be very-- I mean, I can teach the mechanics of money very easily. The, you know, understanding a mutual fund or an ETF or understanding what a Roth conversion is. I mean, all that stuff is simple once you learn it. Okay? What's not so simple is why we do what we do with our money. Why we behave the way we do. And that comes from our subconscious, and that comes from our childhood training and hearing. And that's a whole nother conversation. But that money mindset is so important and that is not addressed in a, you know, role as a wealth advisor. We don't get into that. And funny enough, side note, there's many financial planning firms now bringing in life coaches to work with their clients for that reason. Yeah, I thought it was great. I thought it's about time.

Crystal:

So you're a certified life coach.

Patti:

Yes.

Crystal:

I didn't mention that in your intro.

Patti:

Yeah, a certified life coach and a certified executive coach, which intertwines with everything that I'm doing on the financial piece. And probably equally important, I'm a divorced single mom. You know, I've been through the divorce. I know what that's like. I've been through that journey. I know the fears. I understand the, you know, highs and lows and the challenges. And you know, another side note, I was the one in my marriage where I managed the money and invested the money. My husband didn't know, you know, anything about that. So I just took care of it, which was a sense of peace to me after the divorce. I knew I could take care of that. But even with that knowledge, I still made some bad mistakes. I made some bad decisions, and it was out of desperation. I was, you know, distraught. You know, you just don't make good decisions when you're in that kind of place of fear and emotional upheaval. So, you know, even with my knowledge, I still made mistakes. I mean, that's just the way it is. And so, you know, one of the things that I say to ladies is, give yourself some grace. If you don't understand this or know this, it's okay. No one taught it to you. And even someone like me that knew it, I still made mistakes. So give yourself some grace and just know that it's okay not to be comfortable with money, but that you can absolutely learn it if you're with the right teacher, so to speak.

Crystal:

Yeah. So without you actually managing the money, that kind of frees you up, I think, to really go deeper, like you said. Okay. And as a certified life coach, you can do that with them. But you can also give-- you know enough, because of your experience with being a wealth advisor, you know enough about the products that are out there. So that's really valuable. That's like high value that you're offering them.

Patti:

Yes. It's very unique. I don't know anybody who has a background as a wealth advisor and a mortgage advisor and a coach and divorced. The combination of all that. Yeah, I mean, it's just been my journey, my experience, and I'm rolling all that up into...

Crystal:

You created a blue ocean.

Patti:

I created a blue ocean. Lots of beautiful dolphins. Lots of beautiful dolphins in that blue ocean. Yes.

Crystal:

Okay, so, some of the, the women that you helped, do you have a story of how you helped her? Or a favorite story or one that you feel like the audience would resonate with?

Patti:

Well, you know, one that stands out is-- One I had, well I've had several as a wealth advisor, but one in particular, this gal was probably in her early seventies and very smart, very smart gal. Very wealthy, you know, had a very sizable portfolio. And we were in a meeting at one point. There's always two advisors on a relationship. And we were explaining, or the other advisor was explaining what a Roth conversion was and why we're doing it. And I could tell by the look on her face that she just was, it was this blank stare. And so I asked her, you know, I called her by your name. And I said, " did that make sense?" And she's like, no idea. No idea what you're saying. So I said, okay, let me kind of rephrase that. And so I stepped back, I spoke slower. I simplified it."Oh, okay. That makes sense. I get that." So, it's those kinds of things where, again, it's just said a little bit differently, you know, different language. And not that all wealth advisors do this by any stretch, because, you know, not all wealth advisors do this. But it's, you know, there was the speed at which the information was delivered, some of the jargon that was used. And it just became more complex than it had to be. And so I think just simplifying it--and that's what I love to do as well. I don't try to, you know, impress with complex terms and lingo that you hear in the financial services world and all the, you know-- it's just, I keep it simple.

Crystal:

Do you think that with you saying that it makes me think that maybe that some actually do that to intimidate, because if somebody's a little confused, they don't ask a lot of questions. They don't know what to ask. And they just kind of move forward with what-- they're almost like in a place where they're like, assuming that person knows what they're doing, because I don't understand what they're talking about, so I should probably trust them. Is that kind of what you're saying?

Patti:

Well, I think in my case, my other advisor colleague was not trying to confuse her. I think he was...

Crystal:

Just not able to...

Patti:

Truly just-- it wasn't making the connection.

Crystal:

Yeah. And they say that, you know, genius is taking something complicated to simple. And that sounds like that's what you were able to do.

Patti:

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, again, it's just the relatability and the fact that I saw the look on her face, where he sort of didn't catch that. And I stepped back and then kind of brought that back, you know, home. Now, do other advisors, you know, complicate things to intimidate? Probably. I mean, there's probably some out there. You know, it's hard to make a blanket statement. I wouldn't say a blanket statement. But...

Crystal:

I'm sure, yeah. And that's not to say that they're all doing that. And it's also really easy to, when you get used to a certain jargon or certain language, it's really easy to forget that you were once the other person on the other side that didn't understand the jargon.

Patti:

Of course.

Crystal:

There's a lot going on there. But communication is so important, but there's also the-- how do I say this? Okay, so a financial advisor that's making a commission on a particular product, let's say a Met product, MetLife or any kind of, you know, ING annuity. If they're making a commission and they like that product, then they're partial to that particular product and might not know of another product that's better. So do you see yourself as kind of understanding the gamut or the many different, the plethora of products out there?

Patti:

So I would say I understand the high level mini products. There are so many annuities. There are so many different products and they all have their own little nuances. So no, I don't know every nuance of every product. I don't know that anybody does, cuz they're always changing as well.

Crystal:

Okay.

Patti:

But I can tell you...

Crystal:

Could ChatGPT help?

Patti:

You know what? It seems like that can help everything these days. I don't know.

Crystal:

It does. It's pretty interesting. It also pulls up wrong information. I just wanna throw that out there, so.

Patti:

Oh, interesting. Okay.

Crystal:

Yeah. So I've been playing with it and it pulls up wrong information, but also It's so helpful in a lot of ways. But it just made me think of that because ChatGPT and AI is gonna be so disruptive to so many different industries, I'm just wondering how disruptive it will be for the financial world where people are wanting to manage their own money and using something like ChatGPT to, you know, educate themselves on these things. Anyway, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

Patti:

No, that's okay. I think that, at the end of the day, we as human beings want relationships with other human beings. We want to be able to have a conversation with another human that has walked before us and who has the knowledge and the experience. I don't know that I would take financial advice from, you know, artificial intelligence. But I can say that, back to your point regarding the products and the commissions and whatnot, my particular firm, we were a fee-based firm. So we just charged a percentage based on what we managed.

Crystal:

Okay.

Patti:

We didn't sell. We were all licensed to sell annuities and insurance and all that, but we didn't do that. We didn't love the product of annuities. So again, there's so many moving parts to it and they're so complicated. So one of the things that I would always tell clients is if you can't understand this product, if you don't understand it and can explain it to a fourth grader, you should probably not invest in it. Because there are so many moving parts to, especially in annuity and different insurance products, and they're kind of changing. That if it isn't a hundred percent clear to you, then you should probably either research it more, not invest in it, ask a trusted advisor or CPA or somebody that you work with and you know, you know, to see if that does make sense for you. Because there's just too many unknowns in those products. And yes, they are commission based. My firm didn't do that. Lots of firms do that and some don't, so.

Crystal:

Okay. Okay. Interesting. And maybe that should be asked. And there's nothing wrong with making a commission off of a product. That's not what I'm saying necessarily, but it does tend to raise a yellow flag, doesn't it?

Patti:

It's concerning if you don't know what you're getting into.

Crystal:

Yes.

Patti:

For sure.

Crystal:

Yes.

Patti:

If you understand it completely, because there are some products that do make sense for a certain person in a certain circumstance. I mean, it's like a reverse mortgage that that product has a bad rap, but it makes sense for certain situation.

Crystal:

Yes.

Patti:

For a certain individual, not for everybody.

Crystal:

Right.

Patti:

Same thing with products.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Patti:

So, again, just do your due diligence. Don't just buy it because someone's trying to sell it to you. Ask lots of questions and make sure you speak to a trusted advisor or trusted friend.

Crystal:

And you have a program called Minding Her Money. So in that program, tell us more about that program and what goes on in there.

Patti:

So the Mining Her Money program is a very comprehensive group coaching program. It's 90 days. There is a couple different areas to it. So one component is a online digital course that encompasses nine different modules and it's three different phases. So it's a foundational phase, a strategy phase, and a freedom phase. And, um, there's a about 27 videos in there that you can watch at your pace with lifetime access. In addition to that, you have access to a weekly coaching call with me, where you get to be in a group setting and be put in the hot seat if you wanted to. And then the opportunity to do one-on-one coaching with me as well. And women, you know, learn from women. So when you're in a community, even if you're not being asked or you're not asking the questions, you learn from other people's questions. So, yeah, it's a great program that encompasses-- and again, I haven't seen this anywhere. We talk about self-care, we talk about the money story and understanding your limiting beliefs about money. We talk about just getting organized, getting your papers in order. We talk about getting outta debt and taking care of credit, you know, rebuilding your credit if it was damaged after a divorce, buying a home on your own and what that looks like in terms of qualifying. And then there's two courses on investing. We have one that's kind of basic and, you know, simple that talks about the, the lingo and the jargon that we spoke of and what all that means. And then we go a little bit deeper with more tax strategies and some options to ask the financial advisor if that's your will. And then it wraps up with the ultimate retirement and legacy. So what is it you wanna leave and what does that look like for you as you, you know, enter retirement if you're at that age. So it's a very comprehensive program. I'm very excited about it. I know the transformation will be just a, you know, financial confidence, financial freedom, a certain control of your money, and just that sense of security and stability that you mentioned at the start of the show. We wanna feel secure, we wanna feel safe. We wanna know that it's gonna all be okay, that we're not gonna run out of money, that we're not gonna live on our kids' couch. You know, all those fears that come up as a single, you know, parent.

Crystal:

Yeah, I heard once that I read or heard once-- this was many years ago, but I'm sure it's very similar or, I mean, it's still the same. And that was that stats show that most women's biggest fear is that they'll end up at bag lady. You know the term bag lady?

Patti:

Yeah. Yeah.

Crystal:

I don't think people use the term bag lady anymore. I don't know. Maybe they do. I have not heard it recently, but that's our biggest fear.

Patti:

Yeah. Running out of money. Yeah.

Crystal:

Running outta money. Yeah. Because running out of money -- you lose everything. That's why I said in the beginning of this call, you know, we tend to-- all of our money story is this, I think this programming that money isn't everything. Money is everything. It's shameful to want to make more money. It's shameful to hoard money. Like all of these, I think, ideas and programming crafted helped craft our money story. Don't you feel like it did?

Patti:

Oh, a hundred percent. Yeah.

Crystal:

Yeah.

Patti:

What we heard as kids, and depending upon what age you are-- I'm a boomer, so you know, my parents were born in great depression. So they suffered their money story based on what they lived. And so I heard their story. And it was, you know, money doesn't grow on trees and you gotta work your butt off to make any money. And rich people are, you know...

Crystal:

Bad

Patti:

...enter bad word. You know, it's just, you know...

Crystal:

Greedy.

Patti:

Yes. They're, they're greedy. So you have this mindset subconsciously that money is something you don't want. But the truth is that money gives you freedom. Money gives you options. Money gives you the ability to give in a greater way.

Crystal:

Yes.

Patti:

I've always said that money makes you more of what you already are.

Crystal:

Yes.

Patti:

If you're greedy and you're a jerk, then you're gonna be a bigger jerk. Right? But if you're giving and loving and you love to share it, then you will be able to donate in large quantities.

Crystal:

Yes.

Patti:

And, you know, when I was in the financial advisory world, we had, you know, a lot of clients who were very, very charitably inclined. I just love seeing the large donations that were, you know, being given. And I was just, you know, huge, huge shout out and respect for those.

Crystal:

Love that. So you wrote, more than one book. Where do they find your books?

Patti:

I did, they're all on Amazon. One's a children's book. I actually wrote another one that I haven't had illustrated yet. But, yeah, so two are money focused. One is called How to Ditch Your Allowance to Be Richer Than Your Parents, and that's cured for like the high school or college age kids that were coming out of, you know, college with debt, credit card debt, school debt, just understanding basics, money. And if they understood that, they're gonna set themselves up for much better situation moving forward. The Money Rules 101 is a rewrite of that book and more updated, so that's probably the book I would recommend. The Money Rules 101 Master Your Money Before It Masters You. And then I wrote a book, 50 Ways to Thrive After Divorce, and that was just a short little quick-- you can read that in, you know, probably an hour kind of thing. It's just 50 things that I did to help me sort of survive and get past my divorce.

Crystal:

I love it. Okay. And then if they go to your website, where would they go to have a consultation with you?

Patti:

So you'll want to start with mindinghermoney.com and you'll be able to download a-- actually two roadmaps. One is the roadmap of the entire program, and then the badass investing is on there that you would download. So short training after that, and then you book a call with me. And then that's where we kind of go deep. I learn about their situation. And then we determine if, you know, my program makes sense for them and if it's a fit.

Crystal:

So it's like life coaching and financial coaching.

Patti:

Absolutely.

Crystal:

I love it.

Patti:

Hundred percent. Yeah.

Crystal:

Love that. So listeners and audience, you can go to the show notes and I'll have those links. So if you didn't write that down fast enough because you're driving, like, I love to listen to podcast when I'm driving. So go to the show notes and click on those links and get to know Patti. Literally it can change your life. So I did not meet Patti, which would've been great years ago. But I did make some change in my life when I went to a --and I share the story often. I won't get into it, but I made a huge shift right after my divorce cuz I felt like I had to. So need is the mother of invention, right? So I went to a real estate workshop, weekend workshop, that changed me because they shared with me a lot of different ways to manage money better and to make more money. I literally changed my life in a matter of months and I never looked back and I haven't been an employee since. And that was in 2008. So, things can happen quick, is my point. Things can happen quick when you meet the right person like Patti and you invest in yourself. So I share also the story that I spent $500 on that weekend, and I didn't have the $500. But I knew, I knew that from a quote that I had heard and that quote was-- and it just stuck with me and obviously, you know, spurred me into action. And that quote was, you become the five people you spend the most time with. That has to do with your money and everything. And I thought, what? I had never really heard that. And that is when I decided to start investing in myself and it changed everything. So, thank you Patti. I just wanted to end with that and encourage people to go receive your help. Go to the links and change your life. Thank you, Patti, for doing what you're doing.

Patti:

Appreciate it. Yeah, thank you. Happy to be here.

Crystal:

Okay. Bye-Bye.

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